He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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