yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
