how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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