check it out our google latitudes are spooning
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
