Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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