i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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