Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
