hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
