i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
