Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
