The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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