can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
