Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
