We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
