what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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