can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Houston, we have a squirter
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
