saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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