Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
