You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I look better un-naked...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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