i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize
