Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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