he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
