I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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