I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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