this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
