you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
