so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
