Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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