would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
