so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
