I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
