Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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