You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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