Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
