So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
