So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
