i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
