Your tits are I can't wait for
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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