Joe is yelling at the trees again.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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