wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
