matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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