He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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