I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
