I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Drunk is not a location!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
