she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
