we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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