I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
