what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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