shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize