YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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