I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
